Therapeutic Tuesday!
Word of the Day: Control
Control, according to Oxford, is defined as "the ability to influence or steer people's conduct or the course of events." Many people, I believe, struggle with concerns of control. It's one of those things where folks overlook the warning signs. We're witnessing a lot of situations that highlight how easy it is for someone, somewhere, or something to lose control.
Control in relationships
Control in a relationship is characterized as a man directing his girlfriend how to dress when she should be home and what she should do, and with whom she should or should not communicate. Control in a relationship might include things like checking his phone every night, purposely getting pregnant and using the child to keep the man imprisoned in the relationship, and luring a man by wearing overly revealing clothes in order to encourage him to pay your expenses or rent.
Control in relationships is demonstrated by insecure men who emotionally abuse their wives in order to feel better and acquire control over their emotions. This acceptance could be dangerous since the person will be aware of your sensitivities and will continue to abuse you. Knowing someone has affections for you but rejecting them or playing on their emotions by dating or showing affection to someone else in front of them is a form of control. Because you're aware of the person's feelings and know that executing this action would lead them to feel anything, it's a form of control.
Control is shown by a parent who uses guilt to get their child to pay money or purchase things. "I gave birth to you," or "everything I've done for you," are two examples of strategies that may cause a youngster to feel guilty and give in to your demands. A parent who uses their position of authority to intimidate a child into remaining silent about things that the child knows is wrong. A parent forcibly compelling their child to lie or consent to a false story is an example. Another example is a child who has been assaulted by a powerful figure but has been silenced because they are afraid to tell anyone.
Control can also take the form of a child being molested by her mother's boyfriend, but the mother refuses to believe her, and the boyfriend is fully aware of her denial, highlighting the toys and clothes he purchased her in order to keep the abuse going. To accomplish what he wants, the lover is abusing his power over the mother and child.
Another example that we frequently witness is among the parental figures. Offspring born into families with parents who have not recovered from their own troubles or childhood traumas will pass on their parent's actions and attitudes to their children. A parent with control difficulties makes absurd restrictions and expects their child to follow them, abusing their authority as a parent.
Control in the workplace
In the business sector, control can resemble a director who is appointed to this position in order to wield power. This director then decides to begin making various modifications to the firm or program and dictating specifics in order to feel as if they are accomplishing something, but also to maintain control and make life tough for the employees. This is frequently a person who has never held a position of authority or has struggled with a controlling parent or spouse.
Control anywhere
Even the things we see on TV and hear in our music can be used to exert control. We see control everywhere, but the awful part is that it is all hidden; too bad our typical Joes don't grasp what it means. In recent headlines, control has been used to force a group of people to do something they may not agree with, even though it is their choice and right. Nonetheless, if they do not do "something," they may be in danger.
There are several examples, and we witness this behavior on a regular basis; the question is, how do I manage or stop these behaviors? To see the change, individuals must first desire it strongly enough. Most people enjoy having authority and being in command of someone, somewhere, or something. These behaviors are typically formed during childhood, and it's important to remember that children are sponges until the age of five, after which everything that happens after that becomes a part of their subconscious mind (behaviors), which continues and intensifies throughout adolescence and adulthood.
Therefore, it's so important for people to take the necessary steps to heal and grow into better versions of themselves. Let us be the change that we so much desire!
Be well.
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